Boise (pronounced boy-see, not boy-zee)

Emotions whirling, stagnance sets in. The change of being here feels good, the comfort of coming home to a home at night is appreciated, but my insides are confused at the traveling halt. I read Andrea's blog and tears stream, everything that she appreciates of her present culture is everything that I so dearly miss: the simplicity, happiness through interaction, enjoying the small things that are in fact tremendously huge. And yet I know I simply need to find it within myself.

My life here is excellent. I love my job, although there is still much to learn. My boss is absolutely wonderful, always smiling, always helpful. My roommates kick ass. And I'm slowly but surely making friends. However, I do not take enough time for myself. To sit and simply be... that is what I crave, and it is where my priority should lie.

In a few days I head home. For some reason this idea freaks me out more than I would desire. I am excited to see my family, my friends, Marg get married. But worried that I will question my move, or maybe most of all, it will reinforce the fact that I really just want to be in Mexico. However, I look forward to finally having an answer to the "so what are you doing with your life" question. And I know that I am happy here, although i still seem to be searching for my place.

Lately we've had numerous couch surfers stay with us. The beauty these interactions has brought into my life is immense. It is extraordinarily mind opening, exciting, congenial, and sometimes sad. We have so many coming through that I feel myself making lots of "temporary" friends. I know they are in no way temporary since they have touched my life and will continue to encompass it forever, but i become close with them, they leave, and I am once again reminded of my lack of close connections here in Boise.

I crave for a connection, any connection (preferably one that sticks around). To look into someones eyes and possess a basis of understanding. To be in someones presence without the need to speak, to simply be. To understand someone well enough that needs aren't discussed, they are just taken care of. Am i talking sexual? No. Although I wouldn't mind that as well. I'm talking friendship. And for now it is nice to focus on being that person for myself.