My last full day in Mexico and I feel so far removed from Mexican culture I wonder if the last 91 days were a dream. The only sign of familiarity comes from talking with the maid, which forces me to speak in Spanish. Puerto Aventuras, a private condo community located on the Riviera Maya between Playa del Carmen and Tulum, is my last home away from home. The sand is white and thick like putty or dried frosting, the water turquoise, and the private property signs along the beach are royal blue and obviously being ignored by yours truly. Perhaps one may call this paradise, personally I find it disgusting. Where are the vendors selling nuts, hammocks, and jewelry? Where are the specialized street shops (panaderia, zapateria, papeleria)? Where is the market? And why, for the love of god, are the prices for everything in U.S. dollars? But really, it is beautiful. I would simply prefer a view of mountains to condos. The one thing that does feel familiar and comforting is the question, "how the hell am I getting to the airport tomorrow?" I was told to, "Walk to the highway, get on a bus, then at some point get off the bus (on the highway) and wait for another bus..." ok!
A mix of emotions and I wonder what I'll miss the most. The ocean, my friends, the stress free life of traveling (does that even make sense?), the market, the sun. I don't know what is next for me. I gave up thinking about that a long time ago. I do know that there is an amazing family waiting for me. There is also a job that feels like family. I know that I am ready for something, but the vast array of endless possibilities frightens me just a little, and excites me a lot. But I don't know if I'm ready to handle America. Life here feels slower, it feels right. What an amazing experience. I feel in a sense that by leaving I am taking my travels and throwing them away. I have learned so much and I need to carry these lessons everywhere I go. I feel proud of myself for really leaving. Taking a voyage without a plan. Being flexible to pick up and go to a new destination or stay as long as desired. And so I cry now and know not why. Maybe it's the knowledge that I'll be stuck inside, hiding from the cold grey winter, or not knowing when I'll see my girls. Maybe it is the fear of the unknown-but I love the unknown.
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