Don't wade, don't test the waters, just JUMP!

One of the few things I bought in Chiapas before leaving was a natural fiber journal, knowing that eventually my traveling one would run out of paper. As I write in it now, I feel as though it represents a new section, a new phase of my life. I wonder if the tequila bottle that broke in my bag, making 3 months of ink vanish from the pages and into the Houston airport was encouraging me to move forward. So here I sit, neither moving forward nor back, just stationary, for the moment. But only for the moment. Only one day to rest and then I throw myself back into the rush of American life. Feeling loved and appreciated, but mostly just overwhelmed.

And so I jump right back into the double shifts, being paid to smile, into dancing from one social adventure to the next, without even enough time to simply decorate with Mom, empty my bag, or breathe. I want to scream and cry and sing and don't feel like I even have time for that. A new me in the old circle. I can't begin to express myself or the differences between the cultures, the surroundings. Overwhelmed, overstimulated, overworked. But then I stop. As I did so many times while traveling. I take some deep breaths, refocus, recenter, smile, and appreciate the beauty of the people, the places, everything. It is all beautiful. Different, intense, and beautiful.