Day 48: Saturday in Mexico City

Tall buildings surround us as we search for the Centro Social Libertario, where Amolia and Andrea will be giving a Beehive Collective Presentation. As we walk down Londres Street the numbers on the buildings descend, which would be a good sign, if we weren't in Mexico. Two hours later after walking all the way to one end, turning around walking all the way to the other end, hitting an internet cafe, and walking down an alley, we arrive. Lucky for us Mexican time is in action and the event started 2 hours late, and 2 minutes before we walked in the door.

We spend the first part of the night traveling through Mexico City with 10 individuals, 6 from Kalamazoo, as we have now added Aliisa and Justin to our clan, and 4 others we either knew or met at the presentation. Fried plantains (YUM!), a concert in the Zocalo (city center) where dancing kept us warm but gave me feelings of regret the following morning as I woke up with an inability to walk...remember the fall down the stairs (day 40)? Yep. Still in pain...

Following the brisk concert, we head back to the other side of town for a party with a stop for some delicious street tacos on the way (holy spicy deliciousness). The party is chill, productive, fun and makes me aware of how conservative Guanajuato and Queretaro are, and how good it feels to be surrounded by liberal minds, anarchists, and people who actually question the world in which we live.

After the party we all seperate to go to our separate sleeping situations. As J and I return to our hostel, I am suddenly reminded that it is Saturday night, and at B & B mexico, this means free tequila night. We walk into the front lobby and are instantly poured tequila shots. After 3 shots in 2 minutes we join the hostel partiers to a halloween party down the street. Few costumes, bobbing for apples, and drunk strangers fill the rest of our night.

Day 45: Santa Rosa

I awake to the sound of wind shaking the windows so hard I feel they may burst. I look out the window and realize this is the first time I've had a window in a long while. The view from the floor mattress is perfect: a single tree blowing in the wind with a perfect blue sky backdrop. As I stand to peer out the window, my body shakes from the cold, but the view is worth it: cabanas, green hills, and in the valley, the puebla of Santa Rosa, located 2800 meters in elevation and 15 km from Guanajuato.

For the last 45 days (with one exception) I have been surrounded by concrete, the parks in these cities rarely have grass, when they do it is not permitted to be near them. I have been craving nature for a long while. Whenever I feel unbalanced, overwhelmed, lonely, etc, I have an urgency for nature...

So, when opportunity to go to the hills arrived, I didn't think twice. What started as an evening of pasta, vino, and talking near the fire in the countryside tuned into skipping a day of school (such a rebel) to soak in the sunshine, take deep breaths in the brisk wind, and appreciate the beauty that surrounded me. I feel centered and whole again. Being alone and traveling is a rewarding experience, but I am reminded once again of the importance of nature, balance, interaction, and good home cooking.

Day 43: The beauty of independence

After a ridiculous weekend of chaos I am back at school, have made friends within my hostel, am starting to feel comfortable communicating in spanish, and value this feeling of independence so much that I worry it will end too soon. I will leave this city I have come to love, travel once again with beautiful friends, learn new things, people, places, and lose a part of my independence.

Two of my amigos will arrive into D.F. on friday. From Mexico City we have plans to travel south: Puebla, Oaxaca City, and Mazunte, Oaxaca. Although I look forward to their visit and our adventures together, I crave self exploration and am just beginning to get that deeper understanding of myself, of inner love and peace. But the best part is simply knowing that the possibilities of my future are endless. It is enough to stretch a smile from ear to ear.

Day 40: Tumbling towards fluency

I'm having a lot of strange feelings, a lot of new feelings.

Now feeling so far removed from my hometown, country, everything, I finally feel good in another city. This is new, to feel comfortable, yet continuously challenged, by a language, by men, by isolation. I cherish the people at bar fly for taking me in, showing me kindness.

Today, the city is booming with people from the festival, streets filled with pedestrians as far as the eye can see, music, clowns, street performers of all shapes and sizes and I blend in with my pack. But unlike the many tourists that come only for the final Cerventino Festival weekend, I have been here for nearly a month and I want them to leave.

I spend the afternoon taking a ciesta in my new hostel, Casa Mexicana, I awake to find the clock on the kitchen wall says the same time as it did when I fell asleep. I am late for my coffee/ice cream/spanish conversation date with Julio. I run up the stairs to bar fly (conveniently located next door to my hostel), look out the window and spot him across the street. As I go to run back down the stairs my head hits the low ceiling located at the curve in the stairs, my feet slip, my knee twists, and down I go in writhing pain.

Coffee date turns into 2 shots of tequila for me, a run to the pharmacy for Julio and the only conversation being "me duele la pierna." Dancing plans? Cancelled. I found myself a seat at the bar (around 7pm), and stayed there until 2am when the bar closed early because of a tear gas situation.

Day 38: Farewell my friend

Death comes and questions everything I believe. Takes my glow and covers it with a rock. Reminds me of my life: what its been, what its seen, and everything its taken for granted. Tears are shed for a being so beautiful and strong with goals and visions farther than the mind can see.

And what was learned from him? It started with communication. Learning to speak with someone who kept so many thoughts and explosions inside, and learning to not speak and communicate with eyes and smiles, and then build a relationship, a trust. And look forward to the daily explosions on politics, apathetic students, moving forward, implementing changes.

And then it moved to learning how to turn passion into action, into voice and change. Taking every moment to make a difference, every opportunity to challenge thoughts, every experience a lesson learned. Using every bit of energy, he devoted himself to a justifiable cause, wrote papers 10 times as long as assigned, and still found time to socialize with friends, laugh, love, and share in the frustration of human kind.

And then I learned the importance of health. The importance of time. In fact, I learned it so well I saved my own health in the process by slowing down. He taught me the importance of peace, of love, of experiencing life and appreciating everything. And he taught me the horrors our actions can have on each other, how we are all connected to the environment.

But most of all, I felt the power of love, strength, and pushing forward. And that will stay with me forever. What a beautiful soul.

Day 37: Recovery, recuperation, rebirth

I am high. Floating over Guanajuato with a twinkle in my eye and a glowing smile. I feel reborn. After a horrible stomach infection that gave me chills, fever, hallucination, fainting spells, and all the nasty things I don't need to mention, I feel me again. Saturday I didn't think I'd walk again, I felt my soul being drained of all things natural and beautiful. It's amazing how a fresh start can make you mentally, physically, and spiritually renewed.

I am just so happy. Everyone I meet and interact with is beautiful in their own right. Living at the Bar for a week introduced me to an amazing community within this beautiful city. People with energy, and souls that shine. Yes, the exhaustion and hangovers were at times overwhelming, but the floor of cigarette butts and bar smell kind of grows on you. Within one block we had everything we needed: food, family, shelter, Internet, beer, sunshine, and hugs. ¿What more is necessary? ¿Really really necessary? Nothing.

So now I am back in school. My mind is working again. I'm finally learning past tense so I can stop saying sentences like, "Yesterday, I go to Queretaro and am sick." hahaha. Everyone in my classes seems much more fluent than me, but most of the time I am just distracted by my hot teacher. I am staying in a hostel by myself and it feels good to be independent, especially with a bed. I am planning on being here until Friday, but i may stay forever.

However, I hear the seasons are changing back home, the leaves to yellow, burnt orange, red, brown, gone. And it saddens me deep in my soul to know I will miss this organic change yet again. Memories of car rides out to camp with wide eyes and deep breaths rush through me and I yearn for a harvest dinner, to walk through the woods and kick leaves, to hug my mom.

Day 29: A bed at last

We spent the last 2 night sleeping at the bar. Now as we sit in Yarows tiny room with a bed it really hits me how much I've missed the comfort of having a bed, a room, a place to relax whenever my heart desires. This culture does not pride itself on alone time, privacy, or any of those things I have come accustomed to. I am getting used to it. But living in a bar the last couple of days has been rough. However, knowing that there are people like Yarows, people that are so generous and fun and unique and selfless, has been beautiful.

Days like yesterday, where my stomach is churning inside of me, makes me miss the ability to lay in bed and sip tea, to be surrounded by cleanliness, to take deep breaths and not smell smoke and stale beer. But more than that, it makes me realize how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends who are now my family, and reminds me of how generous and caring the people in this beautiful country are. It also remind me to take better care of myself.

Day 27: Home is where the bar is

A night of partying was followed by a morning of being homeless. It's the first Saturday of the cervantino festival. Accommodations? None.

We sat on the sidewalk in the plaza with our bags, trying to give the sad forlorn, "we're homeless and pathetic" look to passing by tourists.

At 7pm we decided to head to our bar, "bar fly," thinking maybe if we show up with all our shit people will talk to us, they will realize we are stranded and homeless and offer us a place to stay. If that were to fail, we would take the ride offer back to Queretaro and stay once again with Paulo or one of the many couchsurfers there. After being at the bar for approximately 30 minutes, we had our offer: the bartender said we could stay at the bar.

After the previous night of partying (2 hours of drunken sleep), I was ready to pass out right that very second...however, its' Saturday night, cerventino festival, and we're at the cool alternative younger crowd bar.
So...
the bar closes at 4, by 5 we have literally closed the bar down. I crawl onto a comfy mattress, by night used for bar goers, by morning used for employees and random Kalamazooian travelers, and finally fall to sleep.

Yes, I slept at the bar. Yes, it smelled like the day after a party. And yes, they treated us like the princesses we obviously are.

Day 26: Radiant shift

A trip for groceries only made it to the liquor store for a pint of tequila. We then arrived at a majestic, beautiful, artistic, gallery of live art. A mixed performance of acting, dancing, and moving from one room to the next in this multi-floored gallery filled me with radiant energy. It was beautiful.

Three hours later I found myself sitting in a bar and wanting nothing more than to dance, to move to the music, transfer my energy through my feet, out my arms and into the energy of my surroundings. By 1am we had finally made it to the dance club, with warm belly's and happy feet. Somehow 1 o'clock turned into 4 o'clock and we were still dancing. After delicious street food (tacos w/ papas, huevos, o frijoles), and trying to back a large van down a steep, curvy driveway while laughing hysterically, we found our beds.

Day 24: Delirious Princess

Every time I open my journal to write (also used as my Spanish notebook) I see all the Spanish, all the new knowledge, and all the words and structure I have yet to understand. No time to write. Just time to learn, learn, learn. I love to learn, and I can feel myself improving, slowly but surely.

After four hours of class, I find myself wandering through the street, around the same familiar loop. Looking for familiarity: in people, in food, in anything. My dislike for eating alone and my uneasiness for the language often leaves me hungry, weak, and slightly delirious. I find Internet. I try to study, but with no energy comes no brain. I wander the streets again. Find friends, food, and the learning once again continues.

We are currently staying in Marfil, about 20 minutes by bus outside of el Centro de Guanajuato. We sleep on the living room floor of a Ukrainian fashion designer named Aloana. It suits us well. Dinner is usually found through tamale vendors (27 cents/tamale), produce markets, and lunches big enough to keep us filled until manana.

Dia 23: Motivated Itch

My torso is currently covered in little red bumps that itch, hurt, and make life very uncomfortable. However...

I am having a fantastic time! Yesterday I enrolled in classes and am now a student at Escuela Mexicana. I have four classes (2 grammar, 1 conversation, 1 vocab). The teachers there are all young college students that have a lot of patience for stupid Americans. I have two individuals in my classes that drive me and everyone else up the fucking wall, incidentally, they are both from California, and no, they do not know each other. Traveling in Mexico for three weeks has given me culture shock to Americans. argghhh. I will be studying at least until Friday, and most likely for another week. I've realized that the more I study the shorter my trip becomes ($$$), but it just feels so good to use my brain, to be challenged, and to be able to communicate with people. I believe it has been hibernating for about a year, but it is very excited to be out and about again, especially with the beautiful perfect weather.

Regarding my painful, itchy, torso...I went to see a real doctor yesterday. He put me on a stronger medication and prescribed for me a gel that made my body feel like it was actually burning. So umm...no more gel. But I think I might be getting better...only time will tell.

Day 21: La Musica

Guanajuato helps me to take deep breaths. The city is booming with people, colors, and change. Although it is all very exciting, I prefer to seek relaxation. The breeze encourages me to lie down and stare at the sky. That, mixed with the antihistamines I'm on which make me drowsy and slightly delirious. Most people who know me, know that in addition to being a princess I am also delicate as a flower. So when the ink from the tattoo made me breakout in hives I was not so much surprised as I was itchy.

While my mind flutters through the clouds, the sound of Amolias violin keeps me grounded. I miss my piano. I miss making music and singing at the top of my lungs. I fear the confidence in my voice that developed shortly before I left will slowly disappear and I may lose my ability all together. I know none of this is true, but there is something creeping beneath my hives, beneath my skin, that wants to explode. It's through my whole body. My feet want to dance, my arms want to squeeze someone, and my head wants to explode.

We arrived here, in Guanajuato, today around 2pm. Tomorrow, I plan on finding a school and starting to study the language. We will be staying in this area for the next month until our amigos arrive. Where exactly? With who? Dunno. I suppose I'll find out soon enough.